The Art Of Stepping In And Stepping Out In Relationships (Part 2)
In the same way as the gardener (explained yesterday), we have the duty, or rather the honor, of planting positive seeds of good intentions, love, respect and tolerance, at the same time allowing others and the forces of the universe to be given the space to work and respond according to their time and inclination.Very often we plant those seeds but want an immediate result: * I have shown so much patience, but she doesn’t change. or * How much longer do I have to tolerate? I feel suppressed. We become attached to what we do, so there is no space for things to happen at their own appropriate time. Sometimes we have the wrong type of mercy, or we want to take control, thinking we know better, so we step into people’s lives too much. This interference and lack of free space provokes hatred, resentment and conflict with others.
At other times, we get fed up with others; our tolerance and empathy is completely reduced and we say, * I’ve had enough or * I have got to do my own thing and so we step out, but in a selfish way, that is, we isolate ourselves from others, or situations. We justify, or disguise, this isolation and rejection and dislike towards others with such phrases as * I need my own space or * Let them stand on their own feet. In actual fact, we aren’t bothered anymore; we have stepped too far out of the picture because we have not cultivated the patience which allows the good and positive to germinate and grow in its own time. It is an art to know when to step back and when to step forward, but a very necessary one if well-being is to be achieved.